My husband came back to see me after he left me for 5 months. It was on Valentines Day. He spend the night a?
couple of times, then he told me that he love living with his cousins. I visited him one day and he lives in the basement(it was horrible). He is drinking so bad and smoking weed. He is 39 yrs old. I am 38 we have no children. I went through a healing process it was so similiar to when my daughter passed away. (not his). So I felt stronger when he came to visit again I asked him could he apologize to me for lying to others about me. He said that if I know I did not do those things where is no need to apologize. Well after that night he brushed me off. I have tried to contact him but he don't answer. i look at his phone bill and I see he has been texing and calling another women a WHOLE LOT. I wanted to call her and cuss her out! But I couldn't do it. And I can be a trip. But that hasn't been me for 12 yrs since my daughter passed. Now I feel like Im went backwards a little bit. We were married a yr. and together for 21/2 yrs. Real Rap, I need your help. I am about to be a Senior at School, and then Im going for my Masters. How do I push the feelings I have for this man out of my damn HEAD! I HATE THE, FEELING, The Snooping, the negative thoughts in my brain. I am tired of me. WHAT SHOULd I DO? JUST TELL ME AND I WILL DO IT, IM TIRED OF PUTTING MYSELF ON THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE! PLEASE HELP ME! HOW CAN HE JUST DO HIM SO EASILY WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM? BASTARD!
Comments
About Author
Copyright © 2008
Anya D May 26th
well i think you're on the right track since you 1) know he's bad for you and 2) are looking for ways to get him out of your head. i'd say keep reminding yourself of what you "get" being with him. keep reminding yourself that you deserve better than a guy who lives in a basement and drinks/smokes all day. you deserve better than a guy who refuses to apologize. see how he is NOT working with you; he's just…kind of 'existing'..you know? you want more than a guy like that. you deserve it. especially after all you've been through with your daughter. it's time to let that heal and let good things into your life, including a partner.
Snuggy May 26th
Well the guy obviously has problems. 39 and living in a basement? He's irrespoinsible and has nothing going for him from what it sounds like. So whatever he's doing to you, realize that the problem is with himself.
You need to concentrate on your school. Focus on that. Go out with your friends and surround yourself with positive people who will have positive influences in your life. Join a gym or something that you can do daily and you will meet new people and start to think less about the loser of a husband.
You need to also hand him the divorce papers already. And next time he tries to come back, hopefully the locks will be changed! Remember, he can only do to you what you allow him to!
redhead27 May 26th
FYI, it hasn't been 5 months since valentines day… more like 3 months.
Second of all… if he's hiding in a basement and drinking, I'd say leave him there.
Stephanie S May 26th
He is an EX for a reason. Close the chapter and start a fresh page. Adultery, Abuse and Addictions are the reasons to get divorced (I heard this on Dr. Laura). Why would you want to be with him? You obviously do not know your own worth. When you start seeing yourself as worthy of love you will attract a healthy person. Take a year off. You don't have kids so you can move to another state if you wanted to. You can do anything!!
caddywoompus May 26th
Sounds like to me you may need to see a doctor and maybe get your self put on an anti depressant.
You'd be surprised at how good they work at clearing up your mind from racing all over the place (it's racing everywhere except your education, correct?) They'll help with those negative mind clouding thoughts.
BTW, leave this cheating abuser in the basement where he belongs.
Molly F May 26th
He's smoking weed, drinking heavily, talking smack about you. You on the other hand are getting your education and bettering yourself. This is a no brainer, get a tape recorder and record these words only. "I am better than that and deserve so much more in my life." Then every time you start thinking about this loser, hit the play button…over and over and over again, if you need to.
Betty M May 26th
It's time to see a counselor to help you deal with this and find out why after being separated from your husband for 5 months, you still won't get a divorce and get on with your life.
This may sound crazy to you, but for some people, no matter how miserable they are, they can't be happy unless there is a lot of drama going on in their life.
prettyinpink i May 26th
WOOW im so proud of u!! u r going for ur masters!!? y r u waisting ur time with a loser..literally one that smokes weed and drinks alcohol..someone who doesnt have the will to live or do something with his life… u must be courageous woman!! u cannot allow a man to treat u that way,..im assuming u have ur bachelors since ur going 4 masters..
act like a college graduate and stop waisting ur life away with men like that, U DESERVE BETTER! im telling u this and i dont know u, but i know u DESERVE BETTER… with ur college degree date men that r educated not pot heads and crack heads…PLEASE, do not feel like u must be attached to him because he was there and he was the only person u knew when ur daughter passed away…ur a strong woman and u can do sooo much with ur life…there are men everywhere that would want you…trust me i know that…u just have to learn to have more confidence in urself and believe in urself that u there s gotta be more to life…
everyday look at urself in the mirror and say, " I AM A STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND I AM HAPPY JUST THE WAY I AM"
The difference May 26th
Okay sweetie lets figure this out. Hes been gone for months and then shows up: that means you've survived without him for months. You are a survivor and the only time things go topsy turvy is when he comes around. You are going for your masters which means you plan on having a bright future. Baby, just look to the light and leave the shadows behind you. Anything that represents bad, get rid of it. If he's not helping you but hurting you emotioanlly, physically, or mentally then let him go and be done with it., You are looking for good ahead of you, so stop dragging crap behind you. Go through the pain of him being gone only one time and move on. Let him know he's lost any power over your life or affections. Make a list on good things about him and bad things, include how he makes you feel so you can "see" how little you need him. I send you this song just for you. Listen to the words. Hope it helps. I believe in you, now believe in yourself. Reach out and grab your victory in life, your happiness and your future.
Let the past be the past and NEVER give up in you. Keep me posted on your success, I know you can do it and much much more. I'm here for ya (winks).
Sharon May 26th
one key word you went backward. but God don't take us backward don't continue to make that revolving door, your husband banded you, now if you still love your husband yes that's a door is hard to close but when you get to that point that enough is enough then it won't matter what he say or do because you have move on I don't care where we be in life people can give advise but its up to you to say I'm tire and I love me
Add Yours
YOU